Yes I am still here :)

Life has taken over. Still trying to balance all of my many duties and keep myself in shape. I seem to have lost my momentum that I had. But, I am still not giving up. I am still very faithful about going to the gym. It is just the nutrition that is kicking my butt.

I have been really down lately. I am so frustrated with myself and the "health" choices I keep making. Just trying to find some way to get back on track. I was doing great and totally motivated but then something just clicked in my head. I know that there is this weight hurdle that I can not convince myself that it is possible for me to get under. So every time I am doing well and getting close to that number I sabotage myself.  I am a strong women. I have been through a lot more then this in my life and I don't understand why I cant just do it. So frustrating!

I am so thankful to have a great friend and a wonderful husband who are both there to pull me back when I need to get out of my poor me mode. So I am back to blogging because I know that was helping me a lot. So here comes everything. You will now be hearing about the bad days and the good days. Lucky you! :)

Here are the new changes that will be taking place in my life:

1. I am going to keep a food log.  This always helps me keep on track.

2. I am focusing back on me. I will not let other peoples opinions or attitudes bring me down. This is for me and my family so these will be the people I am focused on.

3. I will remember where I came from and the success I have had. No more feeling guilty because I didn't reach my goal last month. Today is a new day and I can do this.

4. I will Blog, Blog, Blog. It is therapy for me :)

5. I will stay OFF the scale. I am allowing myself to weigh in only every 5 weeks. This number is not the determination of my health and I need to remember that!

6. I will smile and enjoy my life. I am blessed with so much. I have so much to be thankful for. Time to be positive!

I really appreciate everyone who has been asking about my progress and keeping me motivated. If you don't hear from me in the next couple weeks just holler at me and get me back on track. Believe me I need all the support I can get!

Kickin' Chicks

It is hard to believe that ten weeks has flown by so fast. The group of women I was coaching at the Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping just finished their 10 week session. They have been such an inspiration to me. They are such a motivating group of women. I was so nervous about coaching because I do not feel like I am always a "perfect" example as to what to do. But, I am glad I did because I have grown so much as a person.

My girls worked so hard. They even won the competition for most improved team. Woooohhoooooo Go Kickin' Chicks :)
Also, I am very proud to say that one girl from our team actually won the One thousand dollars. Now, I am very proud of all of them but I am not taking credit for any of their success! These women are AMAZING. I am so glad to have been able to work with them and hopefully to be a bit of a motivation.

This Monday I start going to work out at 5:15 in the morning........ Lets hope this goes well. I am not much of a morning person but I am going to try my best to start being one. Just keep smiling right???? We will see how  that goes.

Monday is going to be an interesting day for another reason too. I am going to start taking a break dancing class. I know break dancing??????? But it could be fun and I am trying to keep myself active. Also trying to stop telling myself I cant do things. If I can take a break dancing class I am pretty sure I can do anything. LOL!

 Ready for the Farrell's banquet

March Madness

Well the flu has struck the Wilbur home. Yuck! But with every bad thing comes something good I guess. I was able to get a little boost in my weight loss. 10 pounds! Yeah! Not the way I would have preferred but I have been able to keep it off.  Which in turn caused me to be able to buy a size smaller dress! I had ran all out of church and was beginning to look like I was wearing a potato sack. Dress shopping was actually fun!

I must say that this illness was an eye opener to me that I am really changing my life! Normally this would be the time I quit. How many times have we all started programs and then the first obstacle that comes our way we just give up. Not me well at least not this time. :)

Overcoming obstacles seem s to be the them this month. I am trying to work out a balance of being a good mom, taking care of myself, and working a full time job. Not always an easy thing! Nathan had a change in his work schedule which would leave the kids at daycare for another 2 hours a day. I am not very fond of this idea at all.

So it was time to use the old noodle! I am going to start going to the 5:15 am class so that I can be home at 4pm. Anyone who knows me knows this is going to be a hard one! but, it will increase my time with the kiddos by a lot! This is going to be a struggle at first but I have such a great husband who helps out so much that I know we can make this work!

I am constantly battling myself on this debate. Do I stay home from the gym to spend more time with the kids or do I take care of myself and go to the gym so that I will live to be around to take care of my kids? Not an easy choice. I feel like before I lost this weight I was always so tired and miserable that I wouldn't want to do anything. It was a chore to come home and cook dinner. But now I find I am spending more quality time with my family even if the quantity is just a bit lower.

So there is an insight in to my brain and the crazy thoughts I am aways tossing around....... LOL!

Catching up!

So I haven't blogged in a while....

Here are a few things that have happened lately.

First off, I found out today that the team I am coaching at FXB is in first place for best improvements as of their 5 weeks! WOOOOHOOOO!!!! Go Kickin' Chicks! Keep up the great work! These girls are my inspiration for sure! They keep me going on those days when I am so not feeling it. We are all going to do a 5k together in May. I cant wait. It amazes the things I actually look forward to now that I am a whole lot healthier!

I had a girls weekend in Denver with my BFF's for my birthday and had a blast. Got to get all pretty and go out for a night on the town. For once in a very long time I felt beautiful. I mean I really felt like I looked good. I can tell you that has not happened to me in FOREVER. I always feel uncomfortable in what I am wearing. Like everything is either to tight or I look like  I am wearing a potato sack. but not that night. I was totally comfortable and confident. What a GREAT feeling!

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!

I have this thing I do when I am bored which is going through this tub of clothes that I have that are to small. Pretty sure it is Nathan's least favorite thing for me to do since I make him look at everything and tell me it looks good! LOL!
Now my once VERY full tub is down to my dream size clothing. This is not a bad thing but kinda depressing when I get into these moods of wanting to try clothes on. :)

 I tried on all my dream clothes which do not fit yet. (but I was able to get them on just not buttoned) But, wasn't quite satisfied that I had tried on enough and nothing actually fit so I thought, "what else do I have to try on" And then it occurred to me. My wedding dress! And guess what IT FITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited just had to share with anyone that would listen.

if you do what you've always done you will always get what you've always got

So I am at that point in my weight loss goal where I start to sabotage myself. Really not sure why I do this to myself. Everything is going so easy then all of the sudden I just stop and go back to what I was doing. Isn't the saying "if you do what you've always done you will always get what you've always got"? Well, I am not letting that happen to me. I believe the first step is to realize that you are slipping back to your old habits so Kudos to me for catching it before I gained 50 pounds! :)

Now time for some action on my part. I have asked for help! Which if you know me, it is not something I am very good at doing. Thankfully I have the best support system. My coach Erin is helping me. She is texting me to check on me and making sure I am eating right, pushing me in the gym, and answering my millions of questions! I am so blessed to have this kind of support! 

I really feel like this time everything clicked. I know what I need to do to become healthy and I am going to do it!

A Little Encouragement

So I haven't  been  really seeing a lot of results lately with my workouts. I mean don't get me wrong I know exactly what I need to do to see those results. I have got to get my eating back on track. However, this weekend I was able to attend a Health Fair with my FXB gym. I was a little nervous to go because I knew I was going to be the biggest person out there doing a demonstration. But, I am trying to stop using my weight as an excuse not to do things. I went and had a really good time. I met some ladies who were so supportive. This women actually hugged me and said she was so proud of me. Normally I would be annoyed by this. I always think that just because I am heavy people think it is amazing that I don't sit on a couch all day. But, I have come to realize that people are genuinely happy for me. They know it is hard work no matter what your size and they are genuine. I am the one who is so judgemental about myself and I need to take it for what it is .....a compliment.

Today I had an awesome work out. Lance Farrell the creator of FXB was at our gym. He was walking around helping people correct their form and perfect their punches. I was super nervous when he came over to my bag and just holding my breath waiting for him to tell me I was doing it all wrong. But, to my surprise that is not what came out of his mouth at all! He told me I was doing a great job and he thinks I would make an excellent instructor one day. I was so happy! I think I will remember that forever! I mean this is me....the girl who six months couldn't take the stairs at work because I couldn't breathe, the girl who couldn't run with her kids, the girl who was miserable. Yep that same girl was just given the greatest compliment by the creator of the program that has changed her life!!!! AWESOME DAY!!!!